last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just cropdusted the office
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
