I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
