The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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