I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
