I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
