Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
did i just pee glitter
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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