it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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