Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
