I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize