but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
