I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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