maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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