don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
