Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
