woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
