Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
