ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
