So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
