Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
