But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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