don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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