I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
