Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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