WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
