u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wanna go halves on a baby?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
