if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
