I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
