...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
