please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
