I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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