I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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