I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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