just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need water and some morals
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Never joke about your clitoris.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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