If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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