Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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