Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
4 words: hood of his car
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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