have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
