this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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