She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
