wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
two words: eviction party
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
