I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants are for mortals
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize