Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How does it feel to date your dad?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize