i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize