You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
