I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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