We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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