I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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