4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
