That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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