I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
