I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
