Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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