I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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