i barfeds in our rink
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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