No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
