if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
