how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
