your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
