Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
