im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
