So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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