She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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