this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
