Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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