therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
