Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
